Atychiphobia

The echoes of my dreams act as revelry to awake the hell in me
so if you're waiting on redemption, you're shit out of luck
because the buck stops even after the camera rolls
so if you don't recognize the real to reel, then you're stuck like Chuck
these misconceptions are the miscarriages in communication
so if you drop the seeds, failure is your best expectation
that's why I don't expect nothing but the worse
cause if nothing is really there, then nothing can get hurt
it may be a pessimistic but I deem profitable
giving it all away to forget myself seems hospitable
they disagree, telling me I should live
but you can't live to the fullest when there's no more to give
and I should get out more but I don't see a point to try
you can't be under the weather if you never go out to see the sky
so I don't cause sometimes, I think the heavens may fall
or maybe that's what happens if your heads' in the clouds
like the hands in the crowd or leaves in the fall
Autumn may just crash and burn, come to kill us all
watch the trees sway, don't stay like the levees
get buried by the earth and dirt like Joe Pesci
in Casino, the mother gave birth but didn't like what she got
wish something more had came up out of the slot
like Jackpot, nickels and dimes, pennies for my thoughts
quarters for my problems, Jack Daniels till I forgot
all the pain, like rain from the sky for tears
hurricanes for sighs, why do we even try
not to be be nice, it seems so out the way
like lines in the corner of our eyes or that time I didn't know what to say
but I wish I could speak up and converse with a higher man
I wish I could understand the plan fate makes us
I don't know where this road is supposed to take us
I guess that's why I'm surprised my ex calls after we break up
...
and says that she is fine
I know she is lying I can hear smeared tears and running make up
and I don't know how my girl is really taking us talking
she says that she's chill and won't start hawking
my shit, but knowing my luck she'll flip the fuck out and pick a
weapon of choice like Christoper Walken
but I hope she ain't walking away from our future
cause if I could I'd be loving her since my past
even though I'm bound to cause stress
how long can this last before shit gets trashed?
and all the memories you have end up like film
everything works until theres' only negatives left,
I'm waiting on the flash
but before they develop, I'll probably bail bruh
God knows I go to sleep every night knowing I'm a failure.